Tuesday, 8 April 2014

How to Be: A Minor Experiment

In my last post I alluded to disliking recipes (read: fractions) and my last "How To" post was probably one of the only times I will manage to make a list that doesn't cause someone to fall asleep because I have a hard time picking favourites.

Today, today, I am tackling the topic that I thought would have reems of profound hits on the first page of Google. Well, colour me purple. Apparently my hypothesis landed sideways. Here's what actually popped up on the first page.

Yeah. You are reading right. That's Mr. Sparkles the Vampire himself (before glitter).
Seriously?! I thought. Before taking a moment to laugh my head backwards. The vogue phrase these days, at least to my knowledge, is "just be." Granted that's probably been a vogue phrase for about as long as humanity has had some semblance of analytical language ability.

As hilarious as that was, it did get me thinking though. Some might say I am going through a quarter-life crisis. Despite the fact I'm not even halfway through my twenties yet. Then again, who says there is an age limit for going through a crisis? Though yes, it is more common later through life. I figure however that is probably more to do with experience than with age. See, the more you accomplish, or strive to accomplish, or don't accomplish period, the more you have to accomplish or the more you keep striving to accomplish. It's all about stuff. Things. Doing. (Two degrees in 5 years, a music accreditation and so many other things I tend to loose track and not worth wasting space with here).

How about being? Be. Without all the extra baggage of accomplishments as illustrated by the bottom half of the first page of results.

I love how ninjas slip into everything these days. Medieval viewers of Shakespeare didn't have ninja-envy.

Granted, who doesn't want to be a ninja? Though that has been a more recent development in humanities historical desires than things like beauty, confidence or smarts. Thing is, all that stuff falls under this pesky thing called self-confidence and if people had more of that then there would not be all those lists of things people think are important to have. Then again, I wouldn't be able to write this and pester you with my thoughts if you lot didn't think there was some magical way to be beautiful or smart, or develop ninja sneak skills.

I'm just as flippin guilty. Probably should being seeing someone about my mental state but I've got my own coping mechanisms; always have. Plus I did have a friend drop what feels like a university course-load of .pdf files in my lap as a prompt to pick apart my mind with a toothpick and a trowel. It's mind-blowing. (Metaphorically).

The biggest was the idea that everyone, not just those of us who are screwed in the head, has a set of rules and assumptions which are formed from core beliefs (in my case, 100% of the negative sort) that we use as armour. This armour protects our self-esteem from being attacked by situations that reveal our core beliefs to really, actually, be true (and therefore mind-screwing).

I like to take details and make epic landscapes out of them in order to realize connections throughout a bigger picture I may not have otherwise noticed. So, to summarize in the proportions of epic landscapes; by holding on to judgements we create a self-fulfilling circle that ends up hurting us personally far more than anyone or anything else involved.

Potentially Epic Landscape.

Therefore, any judgements we have about ourselves or other people are like doing that thing you were told not to do when you were little but you did it anyway and in order to not get caught, you lied.  (Well except for those rare people who cannot lie unless they want to fall over forwards).

You think your safe. No trouble. For the moment, yes, that is true. Except that one little lie sits with you, you remember it, and you most definitely will repeat it. After all, that's what Big Red Buttons labelled "Danger" are for. Right? (Even the Doctor knows that).

Despite being an individual who loves to take minute details like blobby puzzle pieces and link them all together into an awesome picture, I hate being given advice that boils down to something that sounds stupidly simple. After all, anything that is stupidly simple in words is always, always near supervolcanoes and spelunking Shelob's cave levels of difficulty. Also, things that are stupidly simple are boring. Why make a simple passcode when you can have a labryinth full of flaming arrows, bombs, trap doors, mauling mongooses and earwigs? Much more interesting. But in this case I will cliff jump into the nearest lake and leave you with the following thoughts which I do (for all my snarking hilarity) honestly strive to live.

If you cannot judge your judgement. Have a judgmental Bull. His CV includes King Minos.

The Advice: When you have a judgement. Hold it. Give it the idle gaze you would give an ant while you wait for your bus. Now, let it go. (Idina Menzel style).

In Other Words: Just Be.

Right now I sorely want to be the transformed teapot tanuki who terrifies the monk in the Japanese fairy tale Bunbuku Chagama. (Go check it out. I even gave you a kid's version. It's a laugh).

Or at the very least I have an urge to visit a monastery and poke a meditating monk in the shoulder until they fall over sideways.

Regardless, advice is advice. Take it. Stare at it. Poke it with a stick. Maybe roast in a fire. Stick it between graham crackers and chocolate. Eat it. Savour it. Love it.
Just be with it.

I am.

Making a cup of tea (because that's just what I do).

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