It's an Imaginary Life

I have never, ever seen a pine needles worth of "It's A Wonderful Life" and I have no desire to. My life is full of a million other things still to come, catching up requires certain requirements before I will do so. But, I do live in a particular society that prevents one from entirely and permanently stashing their head in the sand, thereby inflicting me with horrible pop music and "classic" movie titles like "It's A Wonderful Life."

Though, I will admit I almost want to see this sci-fi movie called "Twelve Monkeys," just because it got referenced in Cabin Pressure when the character's were playing a game of movie title sentences. One example was: "What's Eating Gilbert Grape? Twelve Monkeys." Haven't seen the first one mentioned either, but I go for sci-fi over most things and what sort of sci-fi movie is called "Twelve Monkeys?" I mean, nonsense! Utter nonsense!

The Omphalos. A bellybutton of the world. Nonsense? Creativity.

Then again, I have never seen "Snakes on a Plane" and that is about as weird as titles get, though I did see the Doctor Who knock-off called "Dinosaurs on a Spaceship" but again, that was Doctor Who and therefore it filled in the requirement of me knowing something about the genre or show that I would like. And I did. Mostly. It's hard not to like an episode of Doctor Who, well, that is, unless you start thinking too much and you get a headache or start getting irritated with the writer's adoration of epic storylines and cliffhangers. Me, I love a good epic and cliffhangers are so entertaining (I mean, look at BBC's Sherlock after the end of season 2 and all the theories of how he survived the fall. England went insane for the months following and the internet was insane for two years. More insane than usual).


Thing is, Twelve Monkey's is a sci-fi movie. Just that. Plain and simple and sometimes I need more than that to delve into someone else's world. Often I need to just watch it with someone else. That's how I pulled off getting through a few of the Oscar movies this year. Others, I get to gorge on my shallow human side which usually gets squashed into the basement of my Tower Library (mind), and things will be delved into because of a favourite writer like Neil Gaiman's rather contemplative almost lit fiction book "The Ocean at the End of the Lane" or hey look, my favourite actor happens to be in that film. And so on. I don't always adore the product because of those preconcieved conditions that made me pick them up in the first place and I often stumble into things out of boredom or adventurousness and end up down a track I never saw. Then again, 90% of the time the preconcieved conditions ring true and I come out the end with a warm belly of contentment. A bit like good food, pleasant company and mild sunshine. Or, like the first two minutes of a cat sitting on you. 

A lost shoe. Nonsense? Forgotton Childhood. Creativity.

Anyway, all that ramble about preconcieved conditions before trying new things came about because of comment, reply, comment a friend and I had on facebook.

He said: If you could escape this world and live in a world of your own making, what would you do, knowing that you forever forefit the world you do not choose?

I replied with: I don't see why there would be any forefit if you were living in a world of your own making. In a world of your own making it should be filled with your intention which thereby leaves no room for regrets. Seeing as this is the start of a deeper conversation I will leave what I would do for a lengthier area. Though, I will just say; I would, I will and shall always be, a storyteller.

He replied to this with: Some people are incapable of designing an imaginary life. Hence the need to forefit one or the other.

I was incredulous and finished the exchange with: Seriously?! Anyone incapable of designing an imaginary life needs to be put down. Dramatically. Now. Or maybe I should pull out my staff and knock their brains about a bit.  

Okay. So I was a bit dramatic myself, but if you have caught one or two of my posts you'll probably already recognize one part of my default setting sits on dramatic. I'm a writer. It's what we do best. That aside, his reply made me think about how I have met so many people, of all ages who say: I'm not creative. They panic when asked to imagine and say, "What!?" No! I can't! I have no imagination!"

I sigh out a breath and then take in a breath. Then I have one of two replies depending on the person. Either I say, "use your five senses. Imagine the tastes, smells, feeling and visuals of...*insert thing being imagined here*

If that fails, and it does, I'll get the person to find the theme that connects two very opposite things. Try it now. Just for fun. (For those who forgot high school English: a theme is the unifying idea or concept of a product, usually a book, but it works in life).


A spider. The sun. 

A toothpick. A potato.

Earbuds. Elephants. 

How was that? Easy? Tough? Fun? Annoying? Did you come up with more than one theme? Whatever the case, the best thing about creativity, which makes it the best and worst thing on the planet for a person's self-confidence, is that it is highly subjective (read: There. Is. No. Right. Answer). 


That is still a hard thing for me to be okay with. I was frozen in terror a couple weeks ago when I shared some of my sci-fi work with the local library's writer-in-residence; one, because most of the professional writers I've met in real life (read: university) were very snobbish about the place genre fiction did not have in the writing world Hall of Art. Two, because I haven't shared my work with anyone more than that friend who prompted this post and occasionally my mom and a class of bored Grade Nine students.


Yet I keep trekking with it because it is scary and because I am starting to realize it does not matter what people think of my work because all the people in the world will never, ever be happy with your work. I mean, take the Oscars for example, that is The Award for film creatives and yet it is equal parts subjective and bureaucratic. Yay for social images. On a small personal scale I can say I adore Neil Gaiman's "Neverwhere" but his recent "The Ocean at the End of the Lane" was good, but it was a chore (a short chore, of 200 some pages but a chore) to get through. It was sweet and if you are a storyteller in any form, it feels like home but I gravitate more to books that put me in the flow, the sort of books that I come out of, gulping air and realizing "oops, it's four hours later than I intended." A book a grabbed just because it was a steampunk fantasy called "A Conspiracy of Alchemists" by Liesel Schwarz is my latest flow book. 

Let the buds of your mind bloom.

Anyway, creativity. Imagination. Perhaps I am not the best to be writing about it, or being derisive about those who people "who are incapable of designing an imaginary life" but I honesty do find it hard to believe because you can imagine as much as you can eat. It can be as quantifiable or as nonesensical as you personally desire. Here's another good practice at creativity, especially for those who are iron-willed logical.


How many otters can you imagine? 

A nonsensical person like me would instantly reply with the dramatic word, "a million!"

But can you really imagine a million? Logically? No. Unless...

Put all those otters somewhere. Try, say, an aeroplane. Let's also take a smaller number, say, a hundred otters. 

Imagine one hundred otters in a 16 seat aeroplane. 

Now can you do it? Plot it logically. Stick the otters on seats, under seats, in overhead compartments, in the flight deck, the galley etc. 

So my caveat to those who say that cannot, or people who say certain individuals are incapable, I say no one is incapable. Sometimes all it takes is a little logic and even a nonsensical person like myself who can happily suspend a lot of logical belief in the face of many things (because I'll just fill the holes in myself with my own creative juices), might need some sense.  

So now you are creative! Awesome! Or at least its cooking. Takes time to cook a good soup. Now I want you to imagine a world of your own making. What would you do? Just know that whatever you chose for your world, you cannot unmake that choice. You will forfeit all else. 

You might be surprised by how simple your answer is. 

In my world. I would always be a storyteller. 

I do like to take things further. Writer's like details. 

My world would be a cottage, tiny house, tree house, cabin by water or by thick old forest, a place for my books, a piano and writing tools. Quill pen, 1940's typewriter, laptop, tablet, pencil and paper...

Isn't life actually, frightening simple?

Scary.

You're probably already living parts of it. All you need to make it your universe, might be to let go of the feelings of Right or Wrong. Be creative. Be an Imaginist. (Someone who connects things together to create something new, at least seven times a day). 

What's your imaginary life? 

Reminding Imaginary People,
Moony.

The Best Way to Fill Your Bucket

I have a challenge for the weekend: Can you fill up someone's bucket?

No. Not a literal bucket. Though if you want to help someone with their gardening by doing so, please go ahead.

The bucket I am talking about is far more metaphorical in nature. Far more intangible, unless you are the sort who has such a vivid imagination you can touch it.

This bucket was derived originally from my youngest brother's learning program at preschool since he got pegged as having behavioural problems. (Apparently that is what society likes to call the youngest siblings of eight who eat up the elder siblings intelligence and thereby end up genius's who are easily bored by learning an alphabet they knew by heart a year ago). Every day, if he does something nice for anyone at preschool, or says something nice, his bucket (a metaphorical creation between the helper and his four year old genius self) gets filled a little more. By the end of the week, if he's filled it enough (ie: done at least one nice thing every day), my mom will take him to the park or something he enjoys.

Anyway, it's working fantastically (but then again his honest problem is just that he is hugely curious, overly enthusiastic and massively kind and therefore doesn't realize people don't necessarily like random hugs or being asked a million questions about how electricity works).

That said, my mom recently told me I should try it out since (like most people) I have a large lack of self-confidence. So here I am nicking the idea, though I have changed it up somewhat from how my youngest brother uses it. Perhaps you might too.

The way I see my bucket (or your bucket) is as your spirit (and note here that I am being humanely universal, not religiously specific). You are responsible for what you keep in it and the condition it is in. The more negative you are the more dirty or dinted or full of holes it will be. If you are more positive, your bucket will be cleaner and better for holding things in.
 

It takes practice. Like swimming, or music or the first time you learned to read. It means seeing people, things and events in a positive light. Say you are late for something and so you are rushing about. Immediately that level of stress creates tensions which overflow from your bucket and lash out at other people or events, like being stuck behind a slow driver, traffic or maybe you were helping someone and are late because of that.

Whatever the case, the negative emotions you have filled your bucket with will spill out and into someone else's bucket. Eventually, all bucket's reach a point of overflowing and that person's bucket, or someone else's will spill out and into yours. Think of the spill like little crabs collected at the seaside, except there are positive crabs and negative ones. The more negative crabs you spill out into the world, the more negative crabs you will get back and visa versa.

Thus, if you fill up someone else's bucket with a postive thought, comment, look or action, you will find similar positive things coming back to fill up your own.

Simple right? Sadly, not quite. Nothing that is important ever is so easy, but like I said, it just takes practice. I'm in the middle of it. Mostly I am just trying to be kind to my bucket and busy patching the holes I've made over the years of not being kind to myself and attracting far to many negative crabs that have ate more holes into it. Nonetheless, like all things it is a start.

So, to kick of the weekend, try out the challenge I expressed at the beginning.

If you want an extra challenge, take a good look at your own bucket, give it a good wash and then, offer to wash someone else's bucket. Treat them to a special day and remember, special things can be as small as a smile, a quick chat, a hug or as large as offering to drive someone home, watching a movie together or going on a hike.

Building up buckets.
Moony.

Redefining Creativity (A Quote Contemplation)

Today's Thursday Quote: 
"Creativity is just connecting things." Steve Jobs

I've mentioned before I generally avoid lists because it is always so hard to choose the best/the worst/most interesting/most challenging etc. I see all those things in everything. (Okay, some are more definite than others, but that is beside the point).

I suspect this dislike of lists stems from being an individual who (in general) likes and does a lot of different things. I stumbled across another interesting label yesterday that made me think about my personal qualities versus the qualities society says you should have. This label could peg me as a low level multipotentialite. Though in a way it is comforting (like my Introvertedness), to have a term for what I have always considered my personal failing, it is not one I will be sticking on my forehead anytime soon since it is far more business oriented than I feel at the moment.


First I have other aspects of myself to look through and appreciate but it was a fascinating find to have another perspective on my status as someone who is good at many things but not superior; in the way someone who specializes would be. I've always looked on the people who have one single interest, passion and success with great envy. The few friends I had through my school years were all that specialized superior sort who are now going on to become opera singers and doctors.

I would include a list (ha, oh the irony) of all the things I can do or am interested in but who wants to read about someone else's skills/interests? If enough people reading this actually have a desperate curiousity to know, then I would definitely share, otherwise, I will refrain from inflicting you with even more of my scatterbrained rambling. 

The point regardless is that I always seen myself as a Jack-of-All-Trades-Master-At-None. I have seen myself as average, boring (insert further negative self-identifications here).

Always though I'd be a fantastic spy. Plus that's all I was between ages 9-12.

Are you a multipotentialite? Take a moment and think about it. Would you have been one had society not pushed you with the old 20th century ideal of specialization?

Upon stumbling on that quote by Steve Jobs and the multipotentialite movement I am thinking more on what can we, who have multiple skills and interests, do, with all of them at once. Not everyone is happy doing one thing for their whole life, and nor should people be forced to choose. Then again I have always dreamed of being a published author, soley living off my writing,  so I am perhaps not a true multipotentialite (hence the addition of "low level" earlier) but I am the sort of person who would get bored if I only wrote, day in and out. (Plus as I aim for that dream I have taken many detours so that I might have things to write about when I get there).

I want to take up Irish dancing again, I will always be a pianist and definitely a swimmer. I hope to develop my artistic skills further and my writing is always changing. Ideas are endless after all. A month ago I had an idea for a dramatic podcast a la Nightvale crossed with a BBC Radio drama which is still composting around my novel and contest work. I have also done numerous blogs in the past which were written entirely from the perspective of a character and even tried out epic poetry a few times. Dare I mention I have a Tumblr entitled "A Series of Disconnected Thoughts" which is really just a way for me to collect images I find interesting in one spot. See, it's all about the connections, even when you are using societies love of specialization to create ironic humour.

Pumpkins look seriously uniform but in reality they are enormously diverse.

That brings me to this: everything may have already been done but everything has not been done the way you might do it. I feel that's some of what Steve Jobs is getting at with his quote about connectivity and creativity. Namely, we have access to so many things, absolutely everything and anything really, that all we need to do is make some sense of it, find the common denominators, and from all those disconnected things, a new things will come, a new thought, a new phrase. A a new product.


The other part about creativity and connectivity we cannot forget either is connecting with each other to make something new. Yes, brilliance has come and always will come from single minds and forces but brilliance also comes from connecting with the right people in order for those single minds to share their brilliance, or, perhaps, to make it better. However, I will just say here that I strongly believe no one should be forced to work with others when creating, just as no one should be forced to work alone when creating. We are all different people, with different skills and interests. Yes, some of us have many, but, if you write down all your skills and interests just see if you cannot find a connecting theme through them all. I guarantee you that there is one.

For example, the theme which runs through everything I am skilled at or interested in is: grand storytelling.

Everything I do or am interested in tells a story in some way and usually it is a story that has many layers, that spans centuries, a single day in the life of many and always, always has some sort of message. William Blake once said "to see a World in a Grain of Sand" and to me, even a rubber duck has great things to say about life. After all, the innards of a rubber duck have a great eloquence on the state of ones childhood.

Think about that for a moment. (William Blake's quote, not rubber ducks, unless you like them).

One drop of thought is all it takes.

All in all, what I want to leave you with is a drop of water through which you might reflect back on your past interests and skills, current interests and skills and how they all connect together to say something about you as a person. Humans are complex creatures. We are not meant for specialization. (Generally). (Cheers to exceptions!).

What a dull world that would be if we came out like cardboard cutouts.

Though if that were so I would probably take scissors, paint, string, a lightbulb and that infamous horror of all child projects, glitter glue, and create something new.

What is your brand of creativity?

Making messes and occasionally sense.
Moony.

“Creativity is just connecting things.” -Steve Jobs - See more at: http://puttylike.com/4-skills-that-will-dramatically-increase-your-chance-of-thriving-as-a-multipotentialite/#sthash.Lgwvsc8T.dpuf

“Creativity is just connecting things.” -Steve Jobs - See more at: http://puttylike.com/4-skills-that-will-dramatically-increase-your-chance-of-thriving-as-a-multipotentialite/#sthash.Lgwvsc8T.dpuf

“Creativity is just connecting things.” -Steve Jobs - See more at: http://puttylike.com/4-skills-that-will-dramatically-increase-your-chance-of-thriving-as-a-multipotentialite/#sthash.Lgwvsc8T.dpuf

There“Creativity is just connecting things.” -Steve Jobs - See more at: http://puttylike.com/4-skills-that-will-dramatically-increase-your-chance-of-thriving-as-a-multipotentialite/#sthash.Lgwvsc8T.dpuf

“Creativity is just connecting things.” -Steve Jobs - See more at: http://puttylike.com/4-skills-that-will-dramatically-increase-your-chance-of-thriving-as-a-multipotentialite/#sthash.Lgwvsc8T.dpuf

“Creativity is just connecting things.” -Steve Jobs - See more at: http://puttylike.com/4-skills-that-will-dramatically-increase-your-chance-of-thriving-as-a-multipotentialite/#sthash.Lgwvsc8T.dpufthtawtehjhejklsetse

“Creativity is just connecting things.” -Steve Jobs - See more at: http://puttylike.com/4-skills-that-will-dramatically-increase-your-chance-of-thriving-as-a-multipotentialite/#sthash.Lgwvsc8T.dpuf

“Creativity is just connecting things.” -Steve Jobs - See more at: http://puttylike.com/4-skills-that-will-dramatically-increase-your-chance-of-thriving-as-a-multipotentialite/#sthash.Lgwvsc8T.dpuf

“Creativity is just connecting things.” -Steve Jobs - See more at: http://puttylike.com/4-skills-that-will-dramatically-increase-your-chance-of-thriving-as-a-multipotentialite/#sthash.Lgwvsc8T.dpuf

How to Be: A Minor Experiment

In my last post I alluded to disliking recipes (read: fractions) and my last "How To" post was probably one of the only times I will manage to make a list that doesn't cause someone to fall asleep because I have a hard time picking favourites.

Today, today, I am tackling the topic that I thought would have reems of profound hits on the first page of Google. Well, colour me purple. Apparently my hypothesis landed sideways. Here's what actually popped up on the first page.

Yeah. You are reading right. That's Mr. Sparkles the Vampire himself (before glitter).

Seriously?! I thought. Before taking a moment to laugh my head backwards. The vogue phrase these days, at least to my knowledge, is "just be." Granted that's probably been a vogue phrase for about as long as humanity has had some semblance of analytical language ability.

As hilarious as that was, it did get me thinking though. Some might say I am going through a quarter-life crisis. Despite the fact I'm not even halfway through my twenties yet. Then again, who says there is an age limit for going through a crisis? Though yes, it is more common later through life. I figure however that is probably more to do with experience than with age. See, the more you accomplish, or strive to accomplish, or don't accomplish period, the more you have to accomplish or the more you keep striving to accomplish. It's all about stuff. Things. Doing. (Two degrees in 5 years, a music accreditation and so many other things I tend to loose track and not worth wasting space with here).

How about being? Be. Without all the extra baggage of accomplishments as illustrated by the bottom half of the first page of results.

I love how ninjas slip into everything these days. Medieval viewers of Shakespeare didn't have ninja-envy.

Granted, who doesn't want to be a ninja? Though that has been a more recent development in humanities historical desires than things like beauty, confidence or smarts. Thing is, all that stuff falls under this pesky thing called self-confidence and if people had more of that then there would not be all those lists of things people think are important to have. Then again, I wouldn't be able to write this and pester you with my thoughts if you lot didn't think there was some magical way to be beautiful or smart, or develop ninja sneak skills.

I'm just as flippin guilty. Probably should being seeing someone about my mental state but I've got my own coping mechanisms; always have. Plus I did have a friend drop what feels like a university course-load of .pdf files in my lap as a prompt to pick apart my mind with a toothpick and a trowel. It's mind-blowing. (Metaphorically).

The biggest was the idea that everyone, not just those of us who are screwed in the head, has a set of rules and assumptions which are formed from core beliefs (in my case, 100% of the negative sort) that we use as armour. This armour protects our self-esteem from being attacked by situations that reveal our core beliefs to really, actually, be true (and therefore mind-screwing).

I like to take details and make epic landscapes out of them in order to realize connections throughout a bigger picture I may not have otherwise noticed. So, to summarize in the proportions of epic landscapes; by holding on to judgements we create a self-fulfilling circle that ends up hurting us personally far more than anyone or anything else involved.

Potentially Epic Landscape.

Therefore, any judgements we have about ourselves or other people are like doing that thing you were told not to do when you were little but you did it anyway and in order to not get caught, you lied.  (Well except for those rare people who cannot lie unless they want to fall over forwards).

You think your safe. No trouble. For the moment, yes, that is true. Except that one little lie sits with you, you remember it, and you most definitely will repeat it. After all, that's what Big Red Buttons labelled "Danger" are for. Right? (Even the Doctor knows that).

Despite being an individual who loves to take minute details like blobby puzzle pieces and link them all together into an awesome picture, I hate being given advice that boils down to something that sounds stupidly simple. After all, anything that is stupidly simple in words is always, always near supervolcanoes and spelunking Shelob's cave levels of difficulty. Also, things that are stupidly simple are boring. Why make a simple passcode when you can have a labryinth full of flaming arrows, bombs, trap doors, mauling mongooses and earwigs? Much more interesting. But in this case I will cliff jump into the nearest lake and leave you with the following thoughts which I do (for all my snarking hilarity) honestly strive to live.

If you cannot judge your judgement. Have a judgmental Bull. His CV includes King Minos.

The Advice: When you have a judgement. Hold it. Give it the idle gaze you would give an ant while you wait for your bus. Now, let it go. (Idina Menzel style).

In Other Words: Just Be.

Right now I sorely want to be the transformed teapot tanuki who terrifies the monk in the Japanese fairy tale Bunbuku Chagama. (Go check it out. I even gave you a kid's version. It's a laugh).

Or at the very least I have an urge to visit a monastery and poke a meditating monk in the shoulder until they fall over sideways.

Regardless, advice is advice. Take it. Stare at it. Poke it with a stick. Maybe roast in a fire. Stick it between graham crackers and chocolate. Eat it. Savour it. Love it.
Just be with it.

I am.

Making a cup of tea (because that's just what I do).
Moony.

Don't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, encourage a Rambler

Today marks a New Day. A Lemon-Squeezed Candy Crown Day. The sort of day that makes one think of the following street-side attraction located somewhere in San Francisco (I think)...bit of a blurry trip that one.

Be Aware. Silly Hats Don't Care.

Lack of caution in this instance might initiate an explosion of silly hats. On the other foot however, too much caution might initiate an explosion of the following; a mosaic which is really just an artist's way of saying "organized insanity." (This is especially evident in those which take the trouble to point out different directions you might feel like trying as seen in the image of a Greek side-street below):

Which path will you take? A Conveniently Labelled Spot of Five Choices for your Patronage.

Perhaps if you can just take caution somewhere between the flavour of a potato and a peppercorn we can move on and I can explain to you just what the monumental moment of Awesome was which occured today.

As an Introvert (who also suffers from an acute fear of meeting new people). I don't get out very often. When I do, I do with people I know. Sort of like my own personal army of minions who do all the heavy lifting of introductions and mindless "how-do-you do's." (A social construct I still cannot bother to figure out the reasons behind).

Today I went out. I went out times a double chocolate cake. I went out to a writing workshop wherein I was one of two who sat with our local library's writer-in-residence and spent two hours working through the nebulous bits I had brought which I had no clue as to what I should constructively do with them. (That's the problem with spontaneous inspiration, you end up with writing which has no pre-concieved audience or forum).

At first I was flat terrified. I got better. Especially once I very carefully relinquished the pieces I had brought; a short story of which I had just completed an hour earlier and three poems that had been scribbled off on my tablet over a few days of bath tub soaks. (I have a case. It is quite safe. Well, as safe as I want it to be. Therefore, it is safe).

A nebulus vista? Maybe? The resident writer kept using the term after I dropped it.

The girl who was there with me read the poem while our resident writer read the story. She sounded enormously intelligent and had obviously been dropping in for every workshop the resident writer has been offering, plus emailing him for extra help. Yet, she loved the descriptions I used and had next to nothing to say, except a title suggestion. I asked her if it made sense because I have a tendancy to ramble. She said it did. (Later when we went over a memoir outline she was working on, I realized I know a lake's load more about writing techniques/methods/styles than she which made my usual lack of self-confidence have a moment of "oh. I do actually know things"). I felt like I had found kindred spirits at this point. Which I had. Writers. We are right together. Naturally.

The writer in residence asked to see the poem as well. After reading it he proceeded to antidote lecture me about how rambling was actually in vogue and if I had heard of a poetic style called ghazal. I had not. Nor had I heard of the journalist he recommended I read as reference toward my story's topic, a man by the name of Ryzard Kapuscinski and the book, "Another Day of Life" which apparently deals with the same concept I wrote my story on, except in Africa while mine was loosely sci-fi by being set on a nearly dead Mars. Also, he adored the ending. I just want to take a moment here to remark on the irony of spending so much brain juice and time on certain things which then usually end up okay or excellent, and then, those times you rush something off and they always get declared as superb. Irony.

I had mostly let him talk through the whole period, first when he went off on anecdotes to assure me that so long as I was respectful (how can anyone not be?!), my stories that mash Raven and Coyote next to Anansi, Eris or Monkey was perfectly alright. Then, when he went on about rambling, he definitely did so himself.

Sometimes I wonder if Maui painted that (on some Athenians house).

The case, in the point of all this exposition, is that I have finally had someone tell me it is okay to ramble so long as you know when to stop. (This realization equates to a moment of Awesome by the way). I grew up on Lemony Snicket and devoured Terry Pratchett. I still do. Douglas Adam's is one hero of many and I strive to follow Lewis Carroll's fictionally placed maxim "imagine six things before breakfast."

I have always made it my purpose to befuddle. A pasttime which derives partly from pure amusement (because I do love a good confounded face) and partly to determine whether an individual is intelligent enough to be worthy of association. Or, at the very least, whether or not they can put up with me waxing on ridiculous rambles and reconstructions of facts to fit my experimental purposes. I sawed a rubber duck in half with a butter knife once, just for the sake of a poem I was writing. I had a lot of plastic residue. It was the modern day version of sawing a human in half with barbed wire.

Oops. Apologies for anyone reading who has one of those tender stomachs. Moving on...

As much as I like to befuddle people, the world is honestly asking for it. Like the silly day-to-day interactions I mentioned earlier when meeting new people. Then again, many people have admitted to the ridiculousness of asking how a person is without actually stopping to listen, let alone here the truth. One most people don't think of (well I have yet to hear it), are fractions.

Fractions are xonstructs of the human brain which allow said brains to create what should be, according to humanity, the exact same product. A bit like a car engine assembly line. The problem however is that fractions involved, in the instance where they are most often used, substances and the word substances harkens more to chemistry than mechanical acuity. Thing is, because cooking is chemistry (yes that is what I was implying, in case I was being too obtuse), nothing comes out exactly the same. Everyone, even if they follow the recipe down to the same strength/speed/length of mixing, the same number of seeds, grains, fruits...whatever, the results might be similar but they will never ever be as exact as the mass produced constructs of factories.

Hence why I dislike fractions. Why follow something exactly that will not turn out precisely as some other person made it. Especially when you can take the general idea, mesh it with someone else's idea and perhaps a pinch of your own knowledge/preferences/experiences and make something that fits you. Not to mention the second way is more fun and certainly more freeing when you live like a student. Same goes for buying retail clothing. I do. Yes. But I have a goal to one day be able to sew my own clothes. (Though that day needs to somehow fit around my stuffing of reading, writing, reading, exercise, writing, piano, reading and writing into the hours, out of 24, not spent sleeping). 

Only a museum can make octopus's look mathmatically straight.

Anyway, so I like experimenting with things that are nonsensical. Like hanging upside down on red monkey bars at the tender age of ten and telling every kid that passes that "mayonnaise is 5% milk." I hate mayonnaise. Always have. But at the time it sounded like a true fact because I included milk, which every kid knows makes you grow big and strong. What followed was a lot of kids seriously thinking about the health benefits of mayonnaise. I still think it sounds rather pithy but who's going to take me literally nowadays?

That was grade five. Now, ten and some years later I am still a rambler of things most normal individuals consider nonsense. Today howevever, today, my rambling was recognized, not as silly humour, or utter rubbish, but a valid writing style that can be used to great effect, so long as the writer knows when to stop. So in honour of the individual who opened my eyes to the fact there are plenty more opinions than those of my peers in Writing Departments, English professors, or any one who has been inflicted with my work at some point. I'll actually name the indidual who has made me realize, in more than just my head, that as a writer, so long as I can create a compelling conflict, torture some characters and begin and end in a manner satisfying to tale tongues, then however I do so is up to me.

The great inspirer and imparter of the moment of Awesome goes by the name of Harold Rhenisch. You may find his contemplative, insightful and rather humourous blog, full of lovely photos, on the following address: http://haroldrhenisch.wordpress.com/

I must ramble my way off to the millions of writing projects that might amount to more than taking up harddrive space upon this realization they might actually be acceptable to esteemed venues like the CBC along with my favour Analog.

Always rambling. Nebulously.
Moony.

How to Take over the Universe in Ten Steps: A Guidebook

If you are reading this then I am sure you have made the attempt to take control of some aspect of your life or another. Maybe you decided to play the floor tuba or dyed your pet badger the colours of the rainbow. Maybe you just rock out to 1812 or Beethoven's Fifth Symphony in your old car. Maybe you wear brightly coloured socks or blow your bubble gum large enough to lift a hot-air balloon basket. Whatever your normal may be, rule number one to taking over the Universe is shouting it out to the world. 

Now, I know this is meant to be a guidebook but seriously, when is there anything that anyone does the same? I mean, we don't all look the same or act the same so why do people write guidebooks to help people solve the same problem in the same way? It just isn't done. So before you waste your time reading any further, if you are looking for a guidebook that tells you how to be like everybody else. 

Stop. Being an evil overlord or creator of a new world, you can't be run-of-the-mill, or else all your mill workers will simply go on strike and find somewhere else to be stepped on. (Also, if you are going to be an overlord you don't have the time to waste on reading how-to books. Thus I have condensed this into a short list to enable access to your optimal conquering abilities).

Shouting from the Rock of the Universe. (An important daily activity).

Step One: Find yourself a Name.

Madame Director, Moony Dreamer, Moony Director, Eltara Moondancer. Richard the Lionheart, Tyrant Lord of All, Richard the Third. O Blue One, Imaginist, The Storyteller, Super Sleuth etc.

Step Two: Find yourself a Sidekick or Sidekicks and Make a Base.

Luna, Ninja, Balthinemore, Pickle, Skunks, Fred and Ted, Bee, Boswell etc. The multi-dimensional hot air balloon: The Rock-It Ship. The Tower Library. A moving castle, an airship that is a moving castle, a throne etc...

Battle for The Music.

Step Three: Find yourself some Allies.

This is where you need a list making device to record who might be on your side.

Step Four: Find yourself some Enemies. Also, Arch-enemies.

This is where you realize a lot of people have it in for you. 

Step Five: Blow something Up.

Preferably something innocuous like a coffee shop. If you don't it is possible you will experience Step Six. If you do follow my suggestion for Step Five you probably will still experience Step Six but it may fall under the second interpretation of "meltdown."

Step Six: Have a Major Meltdown.

1. Meltdown may be interpreted as realizing you've been duped by your allies, measly underlings or enemies. You now need A Change of Plans. You're emotions equal that of a rabbit of negative euphoria.

2. Meltdown may also be interpreted as realizing you've got all the cards in your hands with awesome allies, useful underlings and stupefied enemies. What to do next? You now need a New Plan. You're emotions equal that of a rabbit of star-circling headaches.  

Step Seven: Start Small. Start Subtle.

If you fell under 1. of Step Five, no worries. Step Seven is here to remind you. Start Small! Blow up another coffee shop in another corner. Then, blow up a laundromat. Maybe blow up the post-office. Domino effect your plans to bigger and bigger buildings.

If you fell under 2. of Step Five, again, no worries. Becoming the Ruler of the Universe takes time. Just keep going at the Small Stuff. Eventually you will domino effect your way onto some large structures like H&M stores or scheming banker offices.

Step Eight: Have a Change of Plans.

You're getting bored. Probably. Try something new. Maybe develop some cool mind-control devices. Stick something in the local fast food stores (well, more than whatever chemicals already exist in them).

Step Nine: Reboot the Universe.

Yay! Congratulations. You have reached the status of Supreme Ruler of the Universe. Now, where did that Big Green Button Go? Press it. It means Start-up. You get to re-start the Universe to suit your dreams and desires. Maybe one day you will make it into the Ruler of the Universe Hall of Fame. 

The Moon is always Full in this Universe.

Step Ten: Have Fun. Just Dance.

This is self-explanatory. Yes? I hope so. If not. Get out of here. You obviously do not have the makings of a Ruler of the Universe if you don't know how to have fun or dance. 

Want to be a minion? You'll get an airship.

***

Alright. So aside from having fun scribbling that list off, for those of you who require sensible explanations, that is what this section is for. 

Taking over the Universe is, at heart, just a more interesting way of saying you are moving in the direction of your dreams. 

You are growing your confidence. Step by step you continue experimenting with ways to reach your dream, or, if you have yet to figure out what your dream is, experimenting is a way to find that out too. 

Yes, there are mistakes, there are moments when you accidently blow up the coffee shop you like to visit (ie: whatever you were striving for); people let you down, you let yourself down and you have to back-up and start over again. 

You revaluate your situation, your resources and your dream/s.

You begin again. Never letting go of the intrinsic confidence in yourself that says you are meant to rule your universe. You are the protagonist in your own story, the leading actor in your life play, you are the Supreme Commander of Your Reality. 

Make it count. Don't just try. See it. Watch it. Feel it. Taking control of the universe is a lot of work. It's going to take time. 

In the wise words of Dori, "just keep swimming." 
(Source: Finding Nemo)

One of the best forms of transportation.

Usually mysterious, generally odd, with a fedora and curls.

Moony.


© Alyssa Rae Reynolds and Moony, 2014.