Monday, 25 August 2014

This Is It

(Pre-service note: This was written right in the moment, you'll find out what moment if you keep reading, but for those of you who have expressed interest in things like my first day in London etc, well, that's coming, I'm just living in the moment and most of this is getting written during down time chilling on park benches for a period).

A last time down at the lake.

This is it folks. I am off. In transit. In motion.

As I sit here in the Kelowna airport. Air-conditioned. Relatively dead. Only myself and one other lady going through security. Yoga music playing. In attempt to calm panicked fliers O cannot help but grin. I would laugh. But my chest is tight and my eyes are leaky. I am overflowing in love from my parents who both took the time to come see me off, have lunch and, some touching last good luck gifts, one of which I am fiddling with in hopes it'll ooze liquid trust. The sort which gets stuck on your fingers like honey and tastes just as sweet to savour. The other rests on my neck and feels both like I have a bit of Gondorian courage crossed with Yggdrasil's sap as a tincture to calm me and ancestors to guide me.

And yet, I sit here, the yoga music tinkling away with waterfall accompaniment, feeling supremely tense and short of breath. I tell myself, what is the worst that could happen? I pay extra fees for baggage that they don't let through, or I get held up briefly as they rummage my carry-on wardrobe to uncover a ps3 and a conversation about how the guard once got embroiled in the Simpsons game with his sons and it was an intense few hours of dueling. I cannot say I have ever player that one, but I can agree gaming can be intense. Particularly ones involving zombies. First person shooter (fps) with zombies is even worse. I don't scream during scary movies. I do  shriek during zombie games. Terrifying. You never know when they will sneak up on you. However, you do know it is a game and you have the option of pausing and turning the lights on.

I won't say life is a game. But right now I can say life is full if fabricated zombies. All those fears we invent as we embark on new and unknown things. Those are our Zombie games. Like games we do have the option of pausing and turning in a light, so we are less afraid. No, it doesn't always work. It doesn't always help my edgey fright when dodging zombies and hiding in corners, surveying the safety of my surroundings.

But. But it does ease the fear a little. So, I sit here now, with my world tree necklace and my rock saying "Trust" and I breath and trying not to snort sarcastically at the airport's attempt to placate us with yoga tunes.

I have my lights on and my game is running. I am off to Vancouver and then London soon after.

This is it folks. Let the zombie hunt begin.

Welcome to life.

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